Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Grumpy

I realized every time I go downstairs to cook in our community kitchen I am grumpy. Maybe its because I've been in front of my computer all day working on my senior synth. Or maybe its the fact that I haven't gotten dressed and that I'm just not that happy with how I look. Or it could be that I would rather just have a private kitchen and not have to deal. Or some combination of the above plus more...

I can be a pretty big homebody. Especially on days like this, where it is raining so hard there is no way you will go outside. And you have so much to do there really is no chance for much more than a few minute break on facebook. I've pretty much been staring at my computer screen for the last 7 hours straight. I hate how you see the day changing right in front of you and you don't have much more to show for than a few digital pages of work and a bunch of notes. Now its nearly 10:30 pm and I'm wondering where the day went. Still have stuff to do...

I just realized while I was cooking today that I always dread going down to the kitchen. I don't know what it is. I pretty much have something to do whenever I am hungry, so maybe its the feeling of wasting time. There are days I would rather not have to worry or think about speaking Japanese. And as sad as it might sound, there are also days that I would rather sit alone, be by myself, and not have to worry about making small talk and being friendly. Lol that sounds to emo. But a lot of days I wish I had a lot more privacy here than I actually have.

I feel bad for all the people who have to put up with me in the kitchen though. Today I was feeling the worst for them. Its not like I see a lot of people in my dorm on a regular basis, but I can only imagine what they think of me if they only run into me while I'm trying to cook and not be bothered. I wish I could apologize for my behavior. Its really not who I am, tomorrow on I'll be a happy kitchen mate. I'm gonna try harder to make life better for everyone in the kitchen. LOL

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