Wakatake Circle

I have finally gotten serious about joining a group. In the US I'm a pretty flaky club member, so I knew it would be hard to stick with them here. Japan is all about having a place in the world, like somewhere you can devote your time to and build relationships. In college, the kids are all about having a club association. It is in no way like American university clubs. Usually Japanese students would only have time for one, as they are quite demanding. Aka the Watakate "circle" (compared to "clubs" supposedly less serious) has lunch meetings twice a week for an hour and activities every Saturday from 10 am-6 pm.

I origionally wanted to join the kadoubu circle, flower arranging, but when that fell through, I went soul searching. I stumbled upon a few volunteer groups and found one with a really long English explanation. Went to their club room in the ghettoest building on campus, was welcomed when I was reading their meeting sign, and have been going to meetings ever since.

Today was the first day I went to their main activity on Saturday. Everything is very structured. It seemed weird to be weird that it was so planned out, after all we were just gonna "play with disabled kids." The meetings take place entirely in Japanese and of course they are talking at conversation speed, so someone updated me with the info. Mainly: don't wear accessories, tie your hair back, and you'll be barefoot in the classroom so you don't slip when you are lifting or carrying the kids. Maybe this is going to be a little more involved then I thought.

We all met at Meguro station at 10 am. Killer to wake up! And walked together to the elementary school. It wasn't until on the way to the elementary school that I got the details. The girl I was paired up with is in a wheelchair, a junior in high school, and can't talk. Ok this is going to be a lot different than I thought.

We got there, set up, and waited to greet the kids. After getting over the shock value that they were all in various stages of mental retardation, I did my best to deal and help out as much as I could. I don't discriminate based on stuff like that, but I am always uncomfortable around special needs cases I guess. You just don't know what to expect, and you don't really know what to do.

Despite my shock and suprise, it turned out to be such a rewarding experiance. I almost cried probably 4 or 5 times throughout the day.

Before today I never really placed a face on the families before. The girl my group worked with today was brought to the elementary school by her mom. Her mom was really pretty and actually looked like one of my friend's moms. Very well dressed and I found out later that their family would be considered to be in the highest tier on the kanemochi scale (rich people). All the parents that came to drop their kids off and pick them up just seemed so happy, very social, very optimistic. I am sure the kids are so hard to take care of, but it seemed as though all of them were doing such good jobs. I was very impressed and very humbled.

During the course of the day in groups of four or five, we fed the kids we were working with lunch that their parents brought. Our girl's mom bought our group onigiris and dessert. So nice. We talked to them, changed their diapers (not something I was expecting to have to do), worked on a craft together, did a little physical activity, and "played." At various points we'd have little meetings where we would introduce each disabled child and cheer for them.

During one of those times, we gave each disabled student a chance to respond. Most don't really respond, or aren't responsive at all. But sometimes they will lift their head or move a finger or something. During one of those times, we were waiting for a little boy to respond. He like most of the kids was severely retarded, had to be strapped into the wheel chair so he didn't fall out. Probably the least disabled of all the kids was sitting right next to him. He had down syndrome, but could talk and comprehend. He was sitting right next to the other boy and reached out and held his hand. It was one of the most touching things I've seen in my life.

The parents came to pick their kids up at 4 pm. We went out to help load them in. It was then that I realized right next to the school a little league and soccer team was practicing. Little kids, really cute, very capable. I was just thinking to myself, life is so unfair. Their school is right next to the disabled school. They are so close, yet so far apart. How did they turn out so different?

We went back inside to have a meeting before we were finished. I could see the same young boy who we waited for his response earlier. He was out in the garden with his dad. He just turned 10 years old today and we sang him happy birthday. It was so touching because the dad was just sitting in front of his sons wheelchair talking to him. I'm sure he was probably just as unresponsive as before, but the pair were there outside the window for a long time. Just father and son. I suppose just like it would be in any family situation.

I realized today the love of parents. Unconditional, unfaltering love and concern. Parents of disabled children impress me the most. They know they will never really have the chance to watch their kids grow up, go to dances, get married, take care of them when they are old. They will probably worry about their kids everyday of their lives and plan for them for when the guardians pass away. They have a mountain of challenges each day for feeding, changing, and carrying for their babies, who will never grow out of it.

Yet today I realized that they are able to love the kids exactly the way they are. Whether they cannot express themselves, speak, or even hold their heads up, The parents are able to love and accept them. No hard feelings, no regrets. Just moving forward one day at a time. Occasionally getting help and leaning on one another for support.

This Saturday was demanding, challenging, and eye-opening. Today was more rewarding than I would have ever expected. I learned a lot about myself and I learned what it takes to be a good parent. Unconditional love, no matter what the circumstances.