Hypothetically if your day of death could be accurately predicted, I imagine that feeling is comparable to what I am going through right now. Its not that I'm depressed, I guess it is just looming. A confusion of emotions...happy, sad, excited, nervous...
I think it is like growing up. When you are young, you rush through life. Its not till you really realize how fast time goes, and accept that you won't be living forever, that you appreciate how special it really is.
Long trips are this way for me. At the beginning is is whatever; weeks, months sound like so long. But when there are only days left I freak out. Theres always so much that I wish I could have done.
This isn't very clear, but neither are my thoughts and feelings...
I fly home Sunday and each day that goes by makes it feel like the beginning of the end. It is only complicated by the international nature of this program and the people I have met. Friends, acquaintances, people I see on a daily basis are not only from the US and Japan, but from all over the world. Ya we may all come back to Japan at various times in our lives, but it will never be the same group of people at the same place at the point in our lives that we are now.
It takes extreme situations like this for me to realize the real value of seemingly ordianary days. I do hope we all meet up again, but it won't be the same as it is this time. We won't be the college students we are now. Maybe our favorite bars will have closed, or we maybe we'll be too old to go karoke. There are probably people here who I will never see again.
I wish I could freeze time for a day and take a snapshot of the last four months.
I guess this goes for all situations. It will never be the same next time. Live life in the moments.
Don't be sad its over, be happy it happened.